


You Had Me at Hello

by Lyra_Sanzennine



Series: Shevirat ha-Kelim [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, Pining, Sappy, love isn't a feeling, philosophical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 22:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15229170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyra_Sanzennine/pseuds/Lyra_Sanzennine
Summary: Sephiroth comes home after his journey to Cosmo Canyon.-------------------------------------------------“I’m ready to listen to your wisdom,” Sephiroth had said.“Ho ho hooo,” Bugenhagen had chortled. “Took you long enough! Then listen to this. The first thing you must do is open your eyes and see that you, just like all the other silly humans on this Planet, are an utterly irrational creature. You have such desires, and yet the way you act, the things you choose to do, are almost always guaranteed to fail to get you want you actually want.”And surely that was true. Because all he’d ever really wanted was love, acceptance, belonging. And instead he’d seized the world and tried to remake it in his image. And hadn’t that been the first lesson of the religions still practiced in the “modern” world? A god can do anything…except make a sentient creature love him.





	You Had Me at Hello

**Author's Note:**

> for monophobian, Jesterbells, and also others who didn't quite so explicitly say MORE ROMANCE AND PINING PLZ. i hope this delivers what I couldn't give you in the main narrative.

 

If he was a less disciplined man, his foot would have been tapping a nervous staccato against the floor of the bus. As it was, his hands felt uncharacteristically cold and clammy, and every so often his pulse would surge and cause him to shake his head slightly and clear his throat.

It had been six months since he’d left Elmyra’s home and travelled halfway across the Planet to Cosmo Canyon. So much had probably changed since he’d last been in Kalm. Tiqi was a few months shy of four now and Machar’s first birthday was only a few weeks away. He wondered how much they’d grown and if Tiqi would still remember him. And Aeris…

He looked out the dirt-specked window of the bus and let the loud rumble of the engine and the sound of rubber tires zipping over pavement soothe his nerves. In the distance, the brick houses and steel industrial complexes on the outskirts of Kalm zoomed by in a blur.

_“Do you know what your problem is, young man?” the sage, Bugenhagen, had said._

_Sephiroth had gritted his teeth and wiped the sweat from him brow with the back of his forearm. He’d driven the shovel deep into the dirt before leaning over the handle, panting. He’d stood, barefoot and shirtless in the corn fields beneath the punishing midday sun while the old man floated merrily upon his levitating orb._

_“What?” Sephiroth had asked, doing his very best to keep the venom out of his voice. He’d travelled all this way specifically to learn from this ancient being who was somehow wise about both nature and machine. It would not serve him to let his aggravation show. But at thirty seven, and having once achieved world domination and having nearly achieved apotheosis, he hardly considered himself a ‘young man.’_

_“You don’t listen,” Bugenhagen had said._

_Sephiroth had almost snorted. “I was a SOLDIER all my life.” And a lab specimen prior to that. “I assure you, I am capable of listening and obeying orders.”_

_“Ho ho hoooo,” Bugenhagen had chuckled. “So typical of you Northeasterners. I say ‘listen’ and you hear ‘obey.’”_

The bus slowed to a stop as it pulled into Kalm’s central terminal. Sephiroth picked up his small travelling pack and shuffled out into the cool autumn air. With his plain black clothes and his black hair pulled back into a short ponytail, he largely blended in with the crowd. His stature was still something, though, and he caught more than one attractive young woman surreptitiously eyeing him as he walked past them towards the nearest cab.

He wondered what Aeris’s face would look like when she saw him. Had she missed him at all, or merely been grateful for the distance? As the cab pulled away from the curb and headed towards Elmyra’s house, he reminded himself that it didn’t matter. What mattered is that he would say what he needed to say, and he would listen.

It had taken months to learn. Months spent wearing far less clothing than he was comfortable with, having spent a lifetime in heavy armor and the many layers of a fine suit. He was barefoot the entire time he lived in Cosmo Canyon, his skin in constant contact with the earth.

_“You only listen to those like you,” Bugenhagen had chided. “Men who wield power. Those who care nothing for that which is all around them. Who see the Planet and everything on and in it as a resource to be exploited.”_

_He hadn’t denied it. The only other person that he’d ever possibly listened to who didn’t quite fit that bill was Scarlet, and she was as bloodthirsty and exploitative as the next Shinra executive._

_“A man’s heart, hidden away from the Planet, becomes hard,” Bugenhagen had said. “And nothing can grow within a stone. If you are to learn to live again, to soften that scarred heart of yours, you will need to learn to listen.”_

The cab pulled up to Elmyra’s house. He paid the driver and climbed out. His heart skipped a beat as he looked up at the red brick building. The garden in front of the house had grown into a wild and beautiful display of brilliant purple and white blooms and tall, lush grasses bowed over by their own weight. White and yellow lilies had their own special section and he smiled to himself at the thought that they really had no right to be blooming like that in autumn. Aeris’s abilities made his chest feel warm as a tendril of pride tickled him beneath his ribs.

He walked up to the front door.

_“The distinction between wild and civilized is an invention of your people,” Bugenhagen had said. “Your ancestors chose to look upon this world and see themselves above it. They chose to ask only the questions that would benefit them. They saw the mountains and the rivers and the wolves and only wanted to learn about them so that they could be used.”_

Sephiroth raised his hand to knock on the door and paused before his knuckles could strike the white-painted wood.

What if she shut the door in his face? What if she’d reunited with Zack and he was the one to open the door? Six months was a long time. If not Zack, then easily another man. She was only thirty years old and with the way her green eyes lit up when she laughed, the way that her small frame had fit so neatly against his body…a man would have to be a blind idiot to turn her down.

He took a deep, steadying breath and let the intrusive thoughts go. It didn’t matter. That wasn’t why he was here.

_“But did you know that even the trees talk?” Bugenhagen had said. “And they’ll talk to you, if you listen.”_

Sephiroth straightened his posture and knocked on the door. He counted the seconds as they passed by until he heard the deadbolt slide open with a click. It shouldn’t have been possible, but somehow his body pumped even more adrenaline into his blood. His heart was racing. He was a trained killer who could leap into a burning house without so much as batting an eye. But the thought of one little woman and his legendary control was nearly obliterated.

His fingers tapped against his thigh as the door opened. He felt the breath leave his body when he saw her standing there in pink flannel pajama bottoms and a powder blue tank top that flaunted the creamy skin of her breasts. Her soft pink lips had fallen slightly open in surprise. A dull pencil was tucked behind her ear, beneath wavy brown hair that had grown down just past her shoulders. She wore it with two small braids that started at her temples and were pinned back behind her head – a style that should have been almost childish yet suited her so well.

Her cheeks had filled back out again so that she no longer had that gaunt look that had so haunted him all through their journey back to civilization. He remembered watching her slowly lose what little fat she had, until she’d become little more than skin and wiry muscle, and heavy, milk-filled breasts. He’d watched helplessly as her body burned up everything it had to spare, for the sake of feeding their son. He’d tried to bring her more fish and meat, tried to assuage the guilt that gnawed at him whenever he thought about the fact that it was his actions that had led to her being pregnant and alone in the mountains. But there was only so much lean game she could stomach, and so many calories had to be burned each day to keep them on the move.

She’d never once complained though.

He almost reached out to touch the curve of her cheek. “Aeris…” he whispered, and wondered where his words had gone.

She didn’t say anything, still too stunned and staring up at him with those clear green eyes.

He wanted nothing more in that moment than to pull her against him and claim her mouth. He wanted to kiss her until she was breathless and never, ever let her go again. He wanted to strip her down to nothing and pull her down onto the cold tile floor and thrust deep into her body until she screamed his name.

He’d had this woman every way imaginable. For three or four years already, depending on how you did the math. This wasn’t infatuation. The way he wanted her. The way he’d missed her.

_“You lack the language to live the life you desire,” Bugenhagen had said._

_And Sephiroth had nodded, because Hojo had only spoken the language of empirical research and Shinra had only spoken the language of money. Genesis had spoken the language of epic romantic fantasy, not a whiff of which was useful in the real world. Angeal had spoken pretty words about pride and honor but they’d proved meaningless at the first true test of his character. And Gast…Gast had left him when he was far too young._

_“I’m ready to listen to your wisdom,” Sephiroth had said._

_“Ho ho hooo,” Bugenhagen had chortled. “Took you long enough! Then listen to this. The first thing you must do is open your eyes and see that you, just like all the other silly humans on this Planet, are an utterly irrational creature. You have such desires, and yet the way you act, the things you choose to do, are almost always guaranteed to fail to get you want you actually want.”_

_And surely that was true. Because all he’d ever really wanted was love, acceptance, belonging. And instead he’d seized the world and tried to remake it in his image. And hadn’t that been the first lesson of the religions still practiced in the “modern” world? A god can do anything…except make a sentient creature love him._

_“There’s a woman back home,” Bugenhagen had said with a twinkle in his eyes._

_“How do you know that?” Sephiroth had demanded._

_“A man like you, here? Ho ho hooo. There’s always a woman,” Bugenhagen had chuckled knowingly._

_Sephiroth had grumbled and looked away._

_“The wisdom I have to impart on you, young man, is this,” Bugenhagen had said. “Only youth makes the mistake of believing that love is a feeling.”_

_Sephiroth’s brow had furrowed in confusion. His knowledge of the subject was limited to a few sources of modern media. If love wasn’t a feeling, what was it?_

_“It’s a choice,” Bugenhagen had said. “When I delight in the beauty of a sunrise, that is not my love for the Planet. That is the feeling of pleasure and awe. But when I wake up at dawn to clean the salmons’ riverbed, even when I’d rather sleep in, even though the village would be well fed without those salmon –_ that _is love.”_

_Sephiroth had stared at Bugenhagen in silence for a long while before saying with a small smile. “I’ve never seen you wake up early, old man.”_

_“Ho ho hooo! That’s what young men are for!” Bugenhagen had laughed before shoving a net into Sephiroth’s hands._

He blinked his eyes until they were once again focused on Aeris in front of him. She hadn’t moved an inch in all the seconds that had crawled by while they stared at each other. No gesture to suggest that he come in or that his presence was welcome at all.

He took a deep breath, exhaled, and remembered what Bugenhagen had said.

_“You need to decide what you really want in life. And then you need to figure out who you need to be to get there.”_

“Aeris,” he started, his voice shaky and unsure. “I’m not good at this. I don’t have much experience talking about…my feelings…or saying sorry…and I want you to know that if you want me to leave, I will.”

He was rambling. Nerves were bumbling his words now more than ever in his life.

“I know that I took everything from you and that nothing could ever make up for what I did to you. I know that you’ll carry those scars for life.” He took another deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. “But…in knowing you, I learned that things…could be different. That _I_ could be different. And the only thing I want right now is to swear to you that I will keep working to make things right. Even…even if you want me to leave.”

He couldn’t read her expression. Didn’t know what the tremor of her lower lip meant. So he just kept talking.

“I’ll take care of our children whenever you want me to,” he said. “I’ll provide for your family like I promised. Although,” he paused and cleared his throat, “I know you don’t need me to and you’re more than capable of providing for everyone yourself. If you don’t want me to, I won’t, of course.”

What else? What else did he still need to say? She was still staring at him and oh how he wished she would say something.

“I’ll solve the energy problem like I should have done ten years ago.”

That was a big promise, but one he had every intention of fulfilling. Not that he knew how he would do it. But he was nothing if not determined.

“Aeris, I…” he said, voice thick with emotion, “I love you. I’ve missed you more in these last six months than…anything.”

He didn’t know what the glimmer in her eyes meant.

“I love you,” he said again. Stronger this time. “And I will leave right now if that’s what you want. I just…I don’t…”

The next thing he knew, her arms were around his neck and the flowery scent of her hair was filling his nostrils. He wanted to inhale her. The curves of her waist felt so good in his arms.

“I missed you too,” she whispered into his chest.

The sound of her voice melted the tension from his shoulders. He closed his eyes and simply relished the feel of her body beneath his hands.

So this is what it felt like to come home. To belong somewhere. Even though he wouldn’t stay here, in this house. Even if she offered now, he would decline. For now it would be best if they took it slow.

Aeris pulled back and it took all of his willpower to let her go when all he wanted to do was keep her locked in his arms.

“You’re so tanned,” she said with a little smirk.

He looked down at his forearm which was the color of burnt toast. He’d always been pale when his body was laced with Jenova cells. And even the journey through the plains to Nibelheim hadn’t tanned him this deeply thanks to consistent cloud cover in the region. But Cosmo Canyon was pretty much sunny all year round.

“Bugenhagen worked me to the bone,” he admitted. And then to break the silence, he said awkwardly, “I like your hair.” He wanted to run his fingers along her braids and then down the column of her neck, but he didn’t move.

Aeris smiled at him. She stepped back and nodded towards the house. “Would you like to come in?”

His heart soared at the words. He could make this work.

Just as he was about to step over the threshold, a weight bowled into his leg and two little arms wrapped around his thighs. He stumbled a step before catching himself and looked down to see a mop of curly brown hair and a blue dress with pink butterflies. Tiqi looked up at him with a grin and he felt a warm flutter in his chest when he saw that her hair was done up to match her mother’s.

“Daddy, are you home?” the tiny, brown-eyed version of Aeris asked.

He sank down to his knees and wrapped Tiqi in a bear hug. “I’m back, Tiqi. Did you miss me?”

“Yeah!” Tiqi kissed him on the cheek as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. “I’m coming home from school! I had so much fun!”

He turned to look over his shoulder, down the path that led from the curb to the house. Elmyra was standing there pushing a pram and looking at him with a sour expression on her face. Machar sat inside the pram happily munching away at an apple.

Sephiroth wondered if winning over Elmyra would prove much harder than gaining Aeris’s trust. But that was alright. He was more than up for the challenge. They had a lifetime ahead to work out whatever it was they needed to work out.

He walked towards the pram to pick up Machar and give him a kiss. But as he neared, the baby’s face scrunched up and he started to cry. It hurt, but Sephiroth tried not to let it get to him. Clearly Machar didn’t remember his father, and that was to be expected.

Baby steps, he reminded himself as Elmyra unstrapped Machar and carried him into the house, sweeping past Sephiroth without so much as a glance.

Tiqi tugged on Sephiroth’s hand. “Come on, Daddy. Let’s go inside! I want to show you my painting!”

Sephiroth smiled as he let his daughter pull him into Elmyra’s house. He flicked his gaze up to catch Aeris smiling back at him. For a moment, he forgot to breathe.

Yes, he thought to himself as he followed Tiqi into the kitchen. He would make this work. Whatever it took, he would make this work.

And he’d start by listening. Whatever she had to say to him. Whatever she wanted to share with him. He wanted to know everything about her.

And maybe, just maybe, they could write their futures together.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had to take catholic marriage prep course series to marry my catholic husband. They weren't bad. But one thing we noticed was there was a large emphasis on "talking." cuz you know, everyone should know that talking is key to making relationships work in the long run. but when we met these old married couples and we talked more about the importance of talking, i was struck with the realization that there was a huge emphasis on talking but absolutely no mention about the importance of listening. 
> 
> Anyway my dudes, I have a bunch of BDSM porn I’m itching to write for these two but I had to get this out first. Hope you liked it!
> 
> Resources consulted:  
> https://onlineacademiccommunity.uvic.ca/jerryflexer/2016/03/16/nature-consciousness-in-native-american-religion/  
> https://whyfiles.org/2012/farming-native-american-style/index.html


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